Friday, July 10, 2009

livin' lifee =/


Okayy, I know this is only my second post and I should be all happy and stuff but I am not :(

I have always believed in karma, What goes around..comes around. But lately, my feelings about that have changed.

A lot has been going on and it is destroying me from the
inside out. I'm really not good at displaying my feelings,
I usually only tell my best friend, which post on here. (califazboyas.blogspot.com) But every now and then I would like different opinions.

Well, first I would like to know if you guys believe in karma?
There has been a lot of negative in my life, a lot of people have broken their trust with me. They have stabbed me in the back. Hurt more than they could ever imagine.

I want so much to forgive them and move on but I'm holding back. Not wanting to forgive them. It is mostly family that has done that to me , but isn't family suppose to be there for you through thick and thin? I have 3 family members as of now that I do truly love. And 1 best friend that has been by my side through almost everything. But anyways, back to karma. is it true? will they get what they deserve? maybe I'm over reacting? Should I just forgive and move on?

It just feels like I'm going around in circles. Not getting anywhere. For every positive ,there is 2 negatives. that is just how it feels. When ever I do anything for anybody, they turn it around and like yell at me or treat me as if I'm a bad person. Maybe I'm not doing something right? But I just truly want to be happy for once and not fake a smile. Find someone who accepts me for me. Not anything more, not anything less.

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