Frustrated..

Okay, Let me just start with saying music is amazing and the best way to express your feelings. For me, without music I couldn't make it, I use it in so many ways.
It helps me express to people how much I care for them or how they hurt me.
Just so many ways for music to influence my life.
That's why I listen to every genre of music.
From country to rap to jazz to R&B :)
Now, if your open to listening to any type of music you should listen to
Life ain't always Beautiful by Gary Allen :D
It is an Uhh-mazing song, It's sad but give it try.

Anyways, back to the topic at hand :)
So, if you guys have been reading my blogs than you know I have a lot of family drama and it kind of sucks just because I have a 14 year old cousin who I adore with all my heart <3
We have (had) a awesome relationship, she has loved me since she was little.
I have always been her hero growing up. She always wants to hang out and spend the night and she just loves me. It's amazing because I love her so much but this family strain has made it non existent. My birthday came and went but the day of my birthday her mother called me not to wish me a happy birthday but to come get some vicoden. Didn't even acknowledge the fact that it is my birthday, but made it totally apparent yelling at me because I didn't call my cousin on her birthday, Which, in fact, I did but she was at softball practice and they didn't pass on the message. Long story short, my aunt has made me seem like such a horrible person and my cousin is young so I hope she doesn't end up hating me :(
It's not fair to the younger kids in the family but I guess that's how it is and I'll have to wait until she is 18 to ever have a relationship again..

I truly miss my grandfather. When he was still alive everything was fine. We were such a 'happy' family,, what happen?
I want to go back please?
I miss my grandmother(before she started ughh,) and my family.
I feel so alone. Unloved && not wanted, nobody has called.
I just miss everything, being grown isn't fun.
Being 6 or 7 and just worrying about playing with my friends was so much easier.

Sometimes I just feel like calling it quits, but I'm not gonna give my family the gratification of that. So Imma dust it off && keep going. It's all gunna be worth it in the long run, right?
Just don't fret the small things.
be happy for what you have :):):)
I love the family that I have.

Smileee =]
It's hard but it's worth it,,