Okay, just to forewarn you...there is going to be a lot of rambling in this blog, just have a few feelings I need to get out. :(
Where to start? Lets start here, my parents divorced when I was 10 or 11 because my father beat us and I am sure some other things that my mother did that I now believe. As you know that can be painful and tragic for any kids. Although my father beat me, I was a major daddy's girl at heart. i love my dad so much. When they divorced , of course, I chose to move with my mother out of fear of my father. Oh boy! Do I wish I would've stayed with my father. A few months after they had split... ohh, its so hard for me to say this but I was molested by my sisters fiancee. When I was a little young he would always compliment me and would say "Erica if you were as old as your sister, I would marry you" ,But as a young kid I thought nothing of it you know? Well, He meant it more than I thought and ended up molesting me. Sick ass pervert. When my mother found out I was visiting my father and I was so scared when he got off the phone with her. Well, story short, my father didn't believe me nor my sister. Why? I was young there is no way I would've made up a story like that. I just don't understand. Since than, I haven't really been close to my dad, I guess you could say.
My mother believed me , but it hurt that some people didn't. Needless to say, my sister still married that bastard and my dad walked her down the aisle. I have always hid that pain but I will always live it and knowing that they didn't believe me.
Life goes on. I had lived with my mother up until like 5 or 6 months ago. OMG! It was complete hell. I have a sister named Danielle, 22 and a brother named Eddie, 16. For some reason my mother has been a lot more distant with me than the other 2. When Danielle lived at home she sneaked out, had sex, sneaked boys in the house etc. Actually, it resulted in her getting a STD, one they don't have a cure for. And my mother treated her like royalty, like she couldn't do anything wrong. Eddie, oh boy, where to start? This boy has no manners, so disrespectful and nasty but does she discipline him? He has been suspended from every school he has gone to and is plain out stupid. Does drugs and recently got caught by the police smoking pot on school campus after hours. BUT who did she treat like shit? Give up? ME =/ I have always been an A or B student, never sneaked out, wasn't a slut. Pretty much spent all my life stuck at home because every time I asked my mother to do something it was the famous "NO". No reason just because she could.
It was my senior year. You know, The Big Bad Seniors =) The last year,, live it up, right? I only had a couple classes a day , so I would leave or go do something with the senior class. She got pissed. We would go out for lunch or something, she said " why? , there is stuff you could be doing at home." What the hell? I'm not lying when I tell you that I was the black sheep of the family. All this stuff has bothered me for so long.
Fast forward-> my grandfather was diagnosed with cancer, I know I have mentioned this before. Me being the good person that I try to be, I volunteered to come stay with them and help take of him because every one flaked. Everything went so sour. When my grandma got a new car my sister got her old car and that was suppose to be the same with me. When my grandfather had passed my grandma was going to get a new car and she did...but she lied. She came to me and told me That her old one was falling apart and the parts were hard to find so she was going to sell it and give me the money to get a different one. pssh, all the sudden she needed that money for bills or something some lame ass excuse. There is so much more to the story but I would be writing all afternoon if I typed it. Point of the story she lied to me. DAMMIT. Why? I was there for her when they needed me the most, I WAS THERE. Since my grandfather has passed I decided to cut off connection to my family. The day he passed, it was like they were ready for me to pack up and leave. kicked me out, treated me like dirt, walked all over me.
My mother is so shady and when I was doing good she was there ready to use my money and whatever, but now I need help. I have been so busy helping everybody around me I haven't had time to even focus on my self. I need help now and everybody has disappeared. But I have my cousins ( Charlesetta, Dominique, Adrianne) who have been here for me through the worse. I just need 30 dollars from my mom when she borrowed 5 or 600. shady ass people, I tell you.
My whole 'family' has turned their backs. I have so much hate in my heart towards them for what they have done. I don't want to but I do. My father is starting to talk to me again but i am scared he has hurt me too. I just don't love them at all. None of them.
I wish I could type out my whole life story so people wouldn't think I am exaggerated or being over dramatic. Well, I got the main things out I guess. So much more I would like to say but can't. I'm drained. My mom hates me and my family is stupid and fake. I'm so tired of this.
Smile-> Even though your heart is aching :(
Sorry for the rambling and random stuff.
just had to get it out.
There are probably mistakes but, oh well.
LIFE GOES ON.
Where to start? Lets start here, my parents divorced when I was 10 or 11 because my father beat us and I am sure some other things that my mother did that I now believe. As you know that can be painful and tragic for any kids. Although my father beat me, I was a major daddy's girl at heart. i love my dad so much. When they divorced , of course, I chose to move with my mother out of fear of my father. Oh boy! Do I wish I would've stayed with my father. A few months after they had split... ohh, its so hard for me to say this but I was molested by my sisters fiancee. When I was a little young he would always compliment me and would say "Erica if you were as old as your sister, I would marry you" ,But as a young kid I thought nothing of it you know? Well, He meant it more than I thought and ended up molesting me. Sick ass pervert. When my mother found out I was visiting my father and I was so scared when he got off the phone with her. Well, story short, my father didn't believe me nor my sister. Why? I was young there is no way I would've made up a story like that. I just don't understand. Since than, I haven't really been close to my dad, I guess you could say.
My mother believed me , but it hurt that some people didn't. Needless to say, my sister still married that bastard and my dad walked her down the aisle. I have always hid that pain but I will always live it and knowing that they didn't believe me.
Life goes on. I had lived with my mother up until like 5 or 6 months ago. OMG! It was complete hell. I have a sister named Danielle, 22 and a brother named Eddie, 16. For some reason my mother has been a lot more distant with me than the other 2. When Danielle lived at home she sneaked out, had sex, sneaked boys in the house etc. Actually, it resulted in her getting a STD, one they don't have a cure for. And my mother treated her like royalty, like she couldn't do anything wrong. Eddie, oh boy, where to start? This boy has no manners, so disrespectful and nasty but does she discipline him? He has been suspended from every school he has gone to and is plain out stupid. Does drugs and recently got caught by the police smoking pot on school campus after hours. BUT who did she treat like shit? Give up? ME =/ I have always been an A or B student, never sneaked out, wasn't a slut. Pretty much spent all my life stuck at home because every time I asked my mother to do something it was the famous "NO". No reason just because she could.
It was my senior year. You know, The Big Bad Seniors =) The last year,, live it up, right? I only had a couple classes a day , so I would leave or go do something with the senior class. She got pissed. We would go out for lunch or something, she said " why? , there is stuff you could be doing at home." What the hell? I'm not lying when I tell you that I was the black sheep of the family. All this stuff has bothered me for so long.
Fast forward-> my grandfather was diagnosed with cancer, I know I have mentioned this before. Me being the good person that I try to be, I volunteered to come stay with them and help take of him because every one flaked. Everything went so sour. When my grandma got a new car my sister got her old car and that was suppose to be the same with me. When my grandfather had passed my grandma was going to get a new car and she did...but she lied. She came to me and told me That her old one was falling apart and the parts were hard to find so she was going to sell it and give me the money to get a different one. pssh, all the sudden she needed that money for bills or something some lame ass excuse. There is so much more to the story but I would be writing all afternoon if I typed it. Point of the story she lied to me. DAMMIT. Why? I was there for her when they needed me the most, I WAS THERE. Since my grandfather has passed I decided to cut off connection to my family. The day he passed, it was like they were ready for me to pack up and leave. kicked me out, treated me like dirt, walked all over me.
My mother is so shady and when I was doing good she was there ready to use my money and whatever, but now I need help. I have been so busy helping everybody around me I haven't had time to even focus on my self. I need help now and everybody has disappeared. But I have my cousins ( Charlesetta, Dominique, Adrianne) who have been here for me through the worse. I just need 30 dollars from my mom when she borrowed 5 or 600. shady ass people, I tell you.
My whole 'family' has turned their backs. I have so much hate in my heart towards them for what they have done. I don't want to but I do. My father is starting to talk to me again but i am scared he has hurt me too. I just don't love them at all. None of them.
I wish I could type out my whole life story so people wouldn't think I am exaggerated or being over dramatic. Well, I got the main things out I guess. So much more I would like to say but can't. I'm drained. My mom hates me and my family is stupid and fake. I'm so tired of this.
Smile-> Even though your heart is aching :(
Sorry for the rambling and random stuff.
just had to get it out.
There are probably mistakes but, oh well.
LIFE GOES ON.
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