Friday, October 16, 2009

dooode,

I haven't wrote anything in a looong time,
Well, I'm done with it for now.
Im pretty much done with everything right now.
I feel so alone.

I have nothing else to say,
life is depressing and I'm only 19
Soo, everyone says Erica please,
girl your still young.
Well if this is what is like right now,
I dont want to be around for the rest.

Im just sick and tired of all this shit.
What the hell?
What did I do so bad the reason as to way this is all happening.
one thing after another.
I use to be so happy, so outgoing.
guess again.

Anyways, im done. I wont be using this for some time.
thanks for reading but Im done for now.
later,

Sunday, September 6, 2009

-> OVERWHELMING

is one of the simplest ways to describe life.

I found out today that my aunt passed away last night :(

How they can be here one minute and gone the next.
This will be my third funeral this year.
Can I just say that this is the worst year I have ever endured.
I am ready for it to be over, please.
I'm in a state of shock and haven't reallly accepted the fact that she is gone.

I feel so alone.
lost.
angry.
upset.
confused.

I am so weak,
like raw, will it get better?

I can't handle anything more.
The time when I need somebody the most and they arn't there.

So,
Aunt La Verne ,, R.I.P
Grandpa Ed,, R.I.P &&
Lenny,, R.I.P
I love you guys, so so much =/

Lifee and the pursuit if happiness :D


Hey All! I haven't blogged in awhile, you can blame that on life happening.

Well, where to start? It's pretty good right now. I am probably the happiest I have been in a while. As you know I have started college. Yay! I love it :DD It's awesome, amazing, stressful, entertain-able, boring etc. But I really do love it. It could be because I hadn't had much of a life before I started but whatever. At first it was overwhelming but I picked up the pace and got with it. I go everyday.
And...I must say..many, many cute guys. hah There is eye candy in my psychology class and Sign Language class. Right On, right? Like that's what I am there for, but it helps me focus. :) Sign Language is awesome and I love my teacher.

I just love the college life and I am so happy to finally be doing something with my life. I feel like I am going places and now when I smile and tell people I am happy I am not lying a hundred percent. haha

I have met so many new people. I'm not nervous to talk to them at all. Like so many people :D I joined Psi Beta, which is for psychology. I know that this is going to be an awesome experience. I hope I met many more people and have fun times.

My life is finally starting and I am not stalling anymore. It's my time to shine, nobody can slow me down.

Grandpa, I am doing it for you! I miss you more and more everyday but I have to keep moving. I know this is what you would want, I do weep for you, but you are making me a stronger person everyday. I love you! R.I.P :)

Goooodnight :] I can't believe how happy I really am, for once in my life. I'm doing it big,, Baaaaaabbbaaayy :DD


Sunday, August 23, 2009

August 24, 2009 :DD

Mmkay :) I am so excited to start college.

I went and got my books last week, that set me back 408 dollars. That is a lot of damn money to spend on a backpack and 5 books.
Well, than I went to orientation on Tuesday and it kind of made me nervous but I am still stoked for tomorrow. They tried to bribe us with candy to answer questions. I was like hmm, We are not 5 anymore but it was funn. We sat there for like 2 hours listening to several teachers repeat themselves. We went on a tour to find our classes, found out I have to like hike to my classes(exaggerating). Just so you understand, I went to charter school mostly all educated years, and the population was like 2 including me. haha But for real, My campuses were really small. Didn't even have to go outside to get to the next class.Oh! and my graduated class held 7 students. Yes, SEVEN. hah So this is going to be a big change for me. It's going to be pretty awesome though.

I am a full time student as I mentioned before. I decided to take a lifetime fitness class which started the 22nd. To pass the class you have to have done 40 hours of work out time by the end of the semester. Thinking we were smart, my cousin and I decided to work out 2 hours yesterday. Lets just say 'Exhausting'. We are gunna cut it down to an 1 until we get into the hang of it. It's gunna be a good class, and good for our health.

Monday, Wednesday && Fridays-
I start my math class at 8 am sharp :) So early for math, right? hah
That class gets over at 8:50 than I have to rush to my Psychology class which starts at 9 am.
Seriously, it's pretty far but I timed it and rushing it took me five minutes to get there.
That is the class I am most excited for.

Tuesdays && Thursdays-
Math at 8 am :DD
than English from 9:00 til' 10:15, ugh.
Than I have to rush my cousin to a whole different campus and be back for my Sign Language class at 11 am,, Think I can do it?
Sign is from 11 am til' 12:50 pm. I hope I enjoy it because that is my longest class,
So I pretty much have a full schedule andd I want to pick up a part time job.

I have always enjoyed school, but high school and college are two way different things, I hear.
That's cool because I am so tired of the high school drama, oh boy! hah
Hopefully, I do well and keep my grades up.
Oh! one more thing! I am going to join a couple clubs I hope and one is going to be the
Gay Straight Alliance Club :):):)

Okay, I am done babbling :DD
I'll be back tomorrow after my first day of college:)
hahah, wish me luckk!!!

Monday, August 17, 2009

I am so pissed..

Okay, So I know everyone is sick and tired of my blogs that just seem to be about the same thing. Depressingly, that's all my life is right now is a repeat of the same thing.



Lets set the story up, ( as if it was interesting, right? hha) My brother is a complete asshole. If any of you need confirmation than hit up my good buddy,Alexis. Anyways, He is 16 damn years old && is the most ungrateful , ill-mannered boy I have ever had to associate myself with.



This boy smokes, yes I said smokes, but can't afford the habit. My mother buys them. That is a whole different topic though. He doesn't do shit. NOTHING. Unless there is something in it for him. I am like rambling but there is just so much I want to say.



A few years ago, While our friends were visiting our dog got out the front door and got hit several times. Sadly, She passed away. From that experience we have always been over protective of our dogs and the doors around our house being left open. Well, Soon after we had gone out for the night and our other dog, Angel, and our cousins dog , AC, got through the side gate and the same thing happened. They were hit and soon died at the dogggie hospital. :( As you could imagine we became so much more protective. And luckly haven't had anything tragic happen like that since.



Now that I set that up, I just think that people should have common courtesy to like hold the door open, if see someone struggling help them etc. especially gentlemen. Yeah right, my brother as absolutely no manners not even for his own mother. He says "I'll do it for my girlfriend , but you guys are family so I'm not gunna do it." I agree he needs to do it for his girlfriend but we ARE family and we will always be there. Girlfriends come and go, family doesn't.



Tonight my mother and I were working on the backyard, of course he was in his room. I came inside and asked him to carry the barrel from the backyard to the front curb. He ignored me. I had to sit down because I had a brain-splitting headache so he let my mother move that heavy barrel full of scraps and tree branches. He never got up to help her so I got up and went to help her.While trying to get through the back door to help her all 3 dogs out the door. Hmm, open gate + 3 dogs= Same incident, different day. I was like screaming for him and so worried that they were gunna get out. He didn't even come. Stupid ass. I had to get all the dogs back in before they got out.



Point of the effing story is that if his sorry ass would have just got up and helped our mother do it in the first place this wouldn't even have happened. I was so pissed, it made my headache worse. I just don't understand? He is this grown and has no respect for his mother. If he would've said anything stupid, oh it would have been on. I wanted him to say something so I could have hit him in his face. Not even lying. :)

I'm sorry if it sounds like I have the writing skills of a 3rd grader but at this point I don't even care. Just had to get it out,,


Mann, I feel so much better now.
I'm gunna go to bed!
Goodnight.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Debating..

Okayy, So I have realized that I enjoy debating. Now, I'm not all like expert at it at all , but I do enjoy it. I will keep debating rather or not I am wrong or right. I do have to admit that I hate hate hate being wrong. hha, Don't know why but I do.
A few things that I have debated about for like hours at a time:
Speeding Cameras - && I am for them,
Young marriage - Very much against it.
Obama- for him, Lost that one =[
Vegetarian(ism) - Hard Subject.
Etc.

But anyways, To the subject at hand->
I was in the car tonight and my bother made a very rude comment
about Micheal Jackson && it set me off. People don't even understand when they insult him around me it upsets me. I would just think that they would have more respect for someone who passed. Not even just because he is a legend but he is a human being. He deserves to REST IN PEACE. Regardless of what people think of him he shouldn't be disrespected like this. Within a couple days of his passing I received numerous forwards insulting him and belittling him. I just don't understand people. I really don't. I could imagine the pain his whole family is going through and have to listen to all the insults and stuff. RIDICULOUS >=/


He is THEE Legend of Pop. Nobody will ever take his place. Now as far as the accusations against him for child molestation, I believe that it is false. My opinion is because he did not receive the childhood that almost every kid dreams of, he created the Neverland Ranch. I believe he created it for kids to get to enjoy their childhood to the fullest. Also, He use to be loaded with money until the last few years , but It was a perfect set up. Money&kids, it just seems to me like a simple way to get money. And there are quite a few people out there that are morbid enough to do something like that. I'm just sick of people trying to tell me how to think and it should be this way and that way. That is one thing I do not do is force what I think on other people. I just believe that he didn't do that.

Also, I do have to say that my brother was making a huge deal about people starting to listen to his music more now that he is gone. To me that is just normal. As stated on the news, he is back to #1 on most playlist and etc. Sure, their are people that have listened to his music rarely but it's just out of respect. I didn't listen to his music everyday , all day but I did enjoy it and thought it was amazing and now that he is gone I do listen to his music more and I do have some ringtones. It's just normal, right? && Another thing about Michael Jackson is that regardless of the different age groups there are so many people that admired him. From 5 to 105, so many enjoyed it.

So to you Michael, I hope you
REST IN PEACE.
&& there are many people that respect you and that is what you deserve.
You will forever live on in my heart and many others.

P.S. While I'm on this subject, I have to give respect to my grandfather.
R.I.P Grandpa Ed
I Love you so much,, I know you are going to make everything better :)



Thursday, August 13, 2009

So Excitedd :)

So, I start Mesa Community College -> August 22nd :)

Photobucket

&& I am so excited, beyond belief.
Most people don't like school and like are kind of like whatever
But, I can not wait.

I am going to school for social work :)
Hoping to one day get my doctrine in Psychology
It is my dream and I will succeed.

I am going full time and finally happy to be doing something with my life :D
I have college everyday=/
I am taking Math, English, Sign Language && PSY 101.
Next semester I hope to take photography on the side.
This is the one thing that I am finally looking forward too.

I have a mandatory orientation this Saturday,
Dude, Bring it on.
I can't wait to be successful.



Wednesday, August 12, 2009

The One-Armed boxer

This is a poem my friend posted. Not sure if she wrote it or not but I like it :)
Enjoy!

I'm weak like a one-armed boxer,
Throwing punch after punch,
After punch, I, I give in.
I'm so dumb and,
Surprised,
When they duck.

A scared pair,
Of walking soldiers.
We're all wounded anyway,
In our respective ways.

Scientists, they,
Couldn't fix me.
I'm so tired,
Of getting out of bed,
But who would want to die as a cowardly little child?
When our time is up,
Will we be ashamed or proud?

You stretch the truth like a crooked salesman.
Telling lie after lie,
After lie but,
Where's the line?
You burn bridges,
You're breaking down dams.

Scientists, they,
Couldn't fix me.
I'm so tired,
Of getting out of bed,
But who would want to die as a cowardly little child?
When our time is up,
Will we be ashamed or proud?

Let's take this train,
For one last stop.
I know,
It's not the end,
But it can't be that far.

Scientists, they,
Couldn't fix me.
I'm so tired,
Of getting out of bed,
But who would want to die as a cowardly little child?
When our time is up,
Then our time is up.

Scientists, they,
Couldn't fix me.
I'm so tired,
Of getting out of bed,
But who would want to die as a cowardly little child?
When our time is up,
Will we be ashamed or proud?

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Frustrated..

Photobucket

Okay, Let me just start with saying music is amazing and the best way to express your feelings. For me, without music I couldn't make it, I use it in so many ways.
It helps me express to people how much I care for them or how they hurt me.
Just so many ways for music to influence my life.
That's why I listen to every genre of music.
From country to rap to jazz to R&B :)
Now, if your open to listening to any type of music you should listen to
Life ain't always Beautiful by Gary Allen :D
It is an Uhh-mazing song, It's sad but give it try.

Anyways, back to the topic at hand :)
So, if you guys have been reading my blogs than you know I have a lot of family drama and it kind of sucks just because I have a 14 year old cousin who I adore with all my heart <3
We have (had) a awesome relationship, she has loved me since she was little.
I have always been her hero growing up. She always wants to hang out and spend the night and she just loves me. It's amazing because I love her so much but this family strain has made it non existent. My birthday came and went but the day of my birthday her mother called me not to wish me a happy birthday but to come get some vicoden. Didn't even acknowledge the fact that it is my birthday, but made it totally apparent yelling at me because I didn't call my cousin on her birthday, Which, in fact, I did but she was at softball practice and they didn't pass on the message. Long story short, my aunt has made me seem like such a horrible person and my cousin is young so I hope she doesn't end up hating me :(
It's not fair to the younger kids in the family but I guess that's how it is and I'll have to wait until she is 18 to ever have a relationship again..

I truly miss my grandfather. When he was still alive everything was fine. We were such a 'happy' family,, what happen?
I want to go back please?
I miss my grandmother(before she started ughh,) and my family.
I feel so alone. Unloved && not wanted, nobody has called.
I just miss everything, being grown isn't fun.
Being 6 or 7 and just worrying about playing with my friends was so much easier.

Sometimes I just feel like calling it quits, but I'm not gonna give my family the gratification of that. So Imma dust it off && keep going. It's all gunna be worth it in the long run, right?
Just don't fret the small things.
be happy for what you have :):):)
I love the family that I have.

Smileee =]
It's hard but it's worth it,,

Sunday, August 9, 2009

New Moon :)

<- I am so super excited to see this movie.

OMG.. I can't wait :)

Taylor Launter is so sexy in this movie.

I'm being ubber random right now, hha

but, I LOVE Rob's hair hahah

Counting down the days until November 20 :D

Anyone else excited? Express, share, gossip about your strange addiction to the Twilight Saga :):):) It's normal!!

I want to read the books all over again,, =]

&& I CAN NOT wait until Breaking Dawn comes out, even though I will be like 22 or 23, So What :)

Jury Duty XD

Okay, So I have to attend a jury summons Monday, the 10th =/


&& I'm not gunna lie, I am really nervous.
What should I expect, If any of you guys have gone?
It's an all day thing, from 8 am til' 5 pm


You have to be 18 and once you registered to vote you become qualified to be called to
jury duty. Damn, if i would've known that. haha
But really? Have any of you guys gone?
I would like to know what's up?

It's all the way in the damn boondocks, ugh :)

BUT, I am excited about starting college on August 22nd :):)
Hell yeah!

Okay, I am out -> G O O D N I G H T =]

Friday, August 7, 2009

Drama =/

Okay, just to forewarn you...there is going to be a lot of rambling in this blog, just have a few feelings I need to get out. :(

Where to start? Lets start here, my parents divorced when I was 10 or 11 because my father beat us and I am sure some other things that my mother did that I now believe. As you know that can be painful and tragic for any kids. Although my father beat me, I was a major daddy's girl at heart. i love my dad so much. When they divorced , of course, I chose to move with my mother out of fear of my father. Oh boy! Do I wish I would've stayed with my father. A few months after they had split... ohh, its so hard for me to say this but I was molested by my sisters fiancee. When I was a little young he would always compliment me and would say "Erica if you were as old as your sister, I would marry you" ,But as a young kid I thought nothing of it you know? Well, He meant it more than I thought and ended up molesting me. Sick ass pervert. When my mother found out I was visiting my father and I was so scared when he got off the phone with her. Well, story short, my father didn't believe me nor my sister. Why? I was young there is no way I would've made up a story like that. I just don't understand. Since than, I haven't really been close to my dad, I guess you could say.

My mother believed me , but it hurt that some people didn't. Needless to say, my sister still married that bastard and my dad walked her down the aisle. I have always hid that pain but I will always live it and knowing that they didn't believe me.

Life goes on. I had lived with my mother up until like 5 or 6 months ago. OMG! It was complete hell. I have a sister named Danielle, 22 and a brother named Eddie, 16. For some reason my mother has been a lot more distant with me than the other 2. When Danielle lived at home she sneaked out, had sex, sneaked boys in the house etc. Actually, it resulted in her getting a STD, one they don't have a cure for. And my mother treated her like royalty, like she couldn't do anything wrong. Eddie, oh boy, where to start? This boy has no manners, so disrespectful and nasty but does she discipline him? He has been suspended from every school he has gone to and is plain out stupid. Does drugs and recently got caught by the police smoking pot on school campus after hours. BUT who did she treat like shit? Give up? ME =/ I have always been an A or B student, never sneaked out, wasn't a slut. Pretty much spent all my life stuck at home because every time I asked my mother to do something it was the famous "NO". No reason just because she could.

It was my senior year. You know, The Big Bad Seniors =) The last year,, live it up, right? I only had a couple classes a day , so I would leave or go do something with the senior class. She got pissed. We would go out for lunch or something, she said " why? , there is stuff you could be doing at home." What the hell? I'm not lying when I tell you that I was the black sheep of the family. All this stuff has bothered me for so long.

Fast forward-> my grandfather was diagnosed with cancer, I know I have mentioned this before. Me being the good person that I try to be, I volunteered to come stay with them and help take of him because every one flaked. Everything went so sour. When my grandma got a new car my sister got her old car and that was suppose to be the same with me. When my grandfather had passed my grandma was going to get a new car and she did...but she lied. She came to me and told me That her old one was falling apart and the parts were hard to find so she was going to sell it and give me the money to get a different one. pssh, all the sudden she needed that money for bills or something some lame ass excuse. There is so much more to the story but I would be writing all afternoon if I typed it. Point of the story she lied to me. DAMMIT. Why? I was there for her when they needed me the most, I WAS THERE. Since my grandfather has passed I decided to cut off connection to my family. The day he passed, it was like they were ready for me to pack up and leave. kicked me out, treated me like dirt, walked all over me.

My mother is so shady and when I was doing good she was there ready to use my money and whatever, but now I need help. I have been so busy helping everybody around me I haven't had time to even focus on my self. I need help now and everybody has disappeared. But I have my cousins ( Charlesetta, Dominique, Adrianne) who have been here for me through the worse. I just need 30 dollars from my mom when she borrowed 5 or 600. shady ass people, I tell you.

My whole 'family' has turned their backs. I have so much hate in my heart towards them for what they have done. I don't want to but I do. My father is starting to talk to me again but i am scared he has hurt me too. I just don't love them at all. None of them.

I wish I could type out my whole life story so people wouldn't think I am exaggerated or being over dramatic. Well, I got the main things out I guess. So much more I would like to say but can't. I'm drained. My mom hates me and my family is stupid and fake. I'm so tired of this.

Smile-> Even though your heart is aching :(

Sorry for the rambling and random stuff.
just had to get it out.
There are probably mistakes but, oh well.
LIFE GOES ON.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Random :)

This man is so sexy, this is so random but he is B E A U T I F U L :)

Sexy picture of the day, what do you think?

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Eminem VS. Mariah Carey XD

So I don't know if you guys have been keeping up with the whole Eminem and Mariah thing but I think it is freakin' hilarious :)

Mariah Carey made a song named Obsessed and I think it is a stupid song. I am not really fond of Mariah Carey except for her song named Hero but that's besides the point. When Obsessed first hit the radio, I thought it was a annoying song && I didn't even know she was speaking about Eminem. The song is stupid and the lyrics are weak, I guess you could say.

"You're delusional, you're delusional,
Boy you're losing your mind.
It's confusing yo, you're confused you know,
Why you wasting your time?
Got you all fired up, with your Napoleon complex,
Seein' right through you like you're bathin' in Windex."

( Here is the link to watch the Obsessed music video if you haven't heard it )
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hpiwPXkbVc



Really? Like you're bathin' in Windex? hha Wow because she isn't 40 years old right? I just think she should have put it together alot better if she was gunna be 'dissin' on somebody, especially Eminem =/ So than, Eminem came back with his song called The Warning. Let me just say wow :) He roasted her, didn't even give her a damn chance. Why she even put a song like this out, she dated him, you think she would know he has a don't give damn attitude. To me, he is not that type to put you on blast unless you ask for it and hell she sent him the invitation. haha =)

Apparently, Se has a lot of hidden secrets that she has kept from Nick Cannon. I bet with this song by Eminem, Nick is asking alot of questions. Well, She asked for it , but I dont think this is the end. Way to go Eminem! Stand your ground. It's a shame it happened this way but it did and I think Mariah better stop while she is still a little bit ahead. He just put it so blunt ,he wasn't trying to beat around the bush like she did. You should listen to it. I am a big fan of Eminem , in fact, 8 mile is my top 10 list. haha I just think she asked for it and he threw it back at her hard, he is gaving her a warning, hence the title The Warning. She better just stop now.

Well here is The Warning, if you were curious. You might want to look up the lyrics and read them while it plays.



I would love to have your input on what you think about this whole situation.
Thank you for reading :D
Enjoy!

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Self-Esteem :D





I know most people that read this blog are going to look at that picture in disgust and might even stop reading it, but I don't care. I look at that as courageous and strong. To me it shows me that they love them selves for who they are and not for what people "think" they should be :)

I think that the way society is today that people are afraid to be who they want to be. Not just plus size people , but Anorexic, emo(I guess you would say), homosexuals, ethnicity , handicapped etc. It shouldn't hurt to be who you are. People do not get to live their life to the fullest because of the way they think society would portray them. It's not fair. Why shouldn't people be treated equal? What makes one label better than the other? If people were not so worried about "labeling" everybody and would just live there life, they would learn that it's okay to be different and unique.

To me there is nothing wrong with this picture ->
They are just expressing their love just like a 'straight' couple would. There is nothing wrong with gay and lesbian couples, Love is Love regardless of gender. Also I think that this is such a personal matter that it shouldn't be such a big deal. It shouldn't be blown up and brought into public like it is. Who cares? Let people be happy, Damn. they are NOT hurting anybody? Are they now? I actually hate like labeling gays and lesbians like 'they' and 'them' because everybody is equal. No one person is better than the next. Actually, when I see a gay or lesbian couple walking down the street holding hands and expressing their feelings for each other, I smile big. It just makes me happy to know that they don't give a Fuck (excuse the language) what people say. I know I keep rambling on , but I can't help it :D One more thing on this topic....I was watching Bruno(not that good of a movie) && at the end my cousin and I stood up and were hollering Gay Pride && Pro Gay or whatever && my brother got embarrassed and told us to shut up and I just feel so sorry for him because he is living his life the way society has made everybody else. I try to live by this..I would rather die standing up for what I believe in rather than living in the shadows. LOVE IS LOVE <3 I SUPPORT =)

I just really wish people were not afraid to be them selves, my self included. Being a 'plus-size' girl, I do sometimes look down upon myself ,but little by little I am learning to love my self for who I am. I have accepted the fact that I am not and never will be the size 3 woman on a magazine cover or the girl all the dogs..I mean men chase after but I am fine with that. Society and Hollywood have made plus size look like such a negative thing. Face it girls, those models that we see that are like a size double zero-> THAT IS NOT REALISTIC! It's not bad to be voluptuous or curvy, you have to learn to love your self as you are. We are sexy just like this ->



Be proud to be different..I tend to live my life by quotes :) " The world would be a boring place, if we all looked the same." So embrace your small butt,big hips, flat chest, big nose, crooked smile && perfect ears-> That's what makes you so unique and what makes you--> YOU!

Regardless our race, size, sexuality, and so on and so forth just learn to be our self and be happy with who we are. We just have to learn to be ourselves and not care what people have to say about us. There will ALWAYS be people out there who think they are better than everyone else but just remember to hold your head high and just know that everybody is equal. I know society will always be messed up and there will always be racist, homophobic and just haters period but a slight piece of me just knows that one day there will be a change.

Special section just for my cousin who shall remain nameless :) You are gorgeous from the inside out. you may be :)CURVY(: but your personality shines so bright anyways. Don't let anyone I mean ANYONE let you think your not a FABULOUS person because honeyyy let me tell you :D So you don't have a man , that doesn't make you any less gorgeous or unattractive. You are amazing and deserve only best <3 I lovee you && hope you already knew this.

Gah, I been rambling huh? haha Okay I think I am done for tonight. Every person is beautiful, EVERYBODY. So your handicapped or Mentally disabled, you are gorgeous for who you are. Learn to love yourself =) Stupid Society and its made up materialistic self. Imma end with a quote :p of courseeee,,haha “Instead of thinking about what you're missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.”

Finally I will end this post :) I bet your happy,, Goodnight and I hope we start loving ourselves for who we are..oh yeah :) Love it-------->



You should really take a look at this website & support the campaign, its amazing ->
http://www.noh8campaign.com and the pictures are pretty awesomeee =)

Goodnight && Thank you for reading :) I appreciate it :D

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Random, But true <3

Justin Timberlakee is A M A Z I N G :D


Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Thought this was classic :) Enjoy!

Youre a 90s kid if,

You remember watching:

-Kenan and Kel
-Doug
-Ren & Stimpy
-Pinky and the Brain
-AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!
-Rockos modern Life
-Animaniacs
-Gargoyles
-Tom and Jerry [when they didnt talk]
-Hey Arnold
-Out of the Box
-Bear in the Big Blue House

You've ever ended a sentence with the word PSYCHE!

You just cant resist finishing this . . . In west Philadelphia born and raised...

You remember:

-Step by Step
-Family Matters
-Dinosaurs
-Boy Meets World

You remember when it was actually worth getting up early
on a Saturday to watch cartoons.

When everything was settled by:

-rock paper scissors or
-bubble gum bubble gum in a dish or
-miss mary mack

When kick ball was something you did everyday!!

You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time on a tape.

You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular.

You always wanted to send in a tape to Americas Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny.

You remember watching:

-The Magic School Bus
-Wishbone
-Reading Rainbow
-Ghostwriter on PBS

You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.

And you played with Silly Puddy and Sticky Tac that you stole from the teachers walls.

You remember those Wheres Waldo books.

Those awsome buzz lightyear shoes that light up.

You remember eating Warheads and Splashers Gum

You remember watching:

-The 1st Batman
-Aladdin
-Ninja Turtles
-Ghost Busters

You remember Ring Pops!!!

If you remember when every thing was da BOMB!

You remember boom boxes . vs.
cd players

You played and/or collected Pogs

You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere you went

You watched the original cartoons of

-Rugrats
-Wild Thornberrys
-Power Rangers
-Rocket Power.

All your school supplies were Lisa Frank brand

If you collected those:

-Beanie Babies
-Yu Gi Oh and Pokemon cards
-Coins with the states on them
-Carebears
-Silver dollars, which were cool to have
-Everyone watched the WB

If you even know what an original walkman is..

You know the Macarena by heart

Talk to the hand . . .enough said.

You went to McDonalds to play in the playplace

..Before the MySpace frenzy.....

Before the Internet & text messaging ......

Before Sidekicks & iPods .

Before PlayStation3 or X-BOX 360

Before Spongebob .....

When light up sneakers were cool and you had spiral spring shoelaces

When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs

When gas was $1.

When we recorded stuff on VCR

You had slap bracelets!

You Actually played outside until it was dark!

Way back-Before we realized all this would eventually disappear

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Random thoughts of the day :)

These thoughts just came to my head and I thought I would share them with you :D

I was going to Wal-mart to and I was getting out of the car and I hit my 'funny' bone when I was getting out. Why do they call it the funny bone? There is nothing the least bit funny about it? hhha, It actually hurts quite a bit,


Another thing-> I have been seeing those two seater cars and I think they are the most pointless things ever. They really are and I think they are ugly, I was at QT the other day and there were 3 grown girls in a Mercedes that was meant for TWO. Now if they would've just got a regular car than they wouldn't have to be squashed like that.

Fact : Stressed is desserts spelled backwards. <- hahaahha, So funny :)

&& why is it that people say they slept like babies even though babies wake up every two hours? hmm, ponder that,, its random,,yes i know :D

if Fed Ex and UPS were to merge would it be called Fed Up? hahah

just randomness, hha I'm done..promise :D
Goodnight-> Much Loveee =p

Camera Fraud =/





Are you for or against the speed cameras?


Me, I am 100% for the cameras. It think in many ways It has saved lives. Now, I know it doesn't prevent all accidents but I think it has helped. My cousins and I were having a debate about this yesterday and they are against the cameras. Now to me, most of the people that have a problem with these cameras are speeders. I just think it is a very unsafe habit. While you think that you know what your doing and you drive fine going fast, it may not be your fault for the accident but you might be able to prevent it if your going the speed limit. So many people lose their life in car accidents EVERYDAY.

Just like the quote says " If your speeding, your already late." There is a reason for the speed limit. The cameras do not stop you from speeding but they are a deterrent for speeding. I wish people would understand that it takes 2 seconds for something to change, for a car to have to step on their brakes at the last minute or for a kid to run in the street. Just think =/

I think it was a good investment :)

but if people would stop acting like they are invincible than we wouldnt need them.
your never gaurunteed another day, so when you get behind the wheel of car just think of what could happen when your speeding or driving insanely. :)

I would love to know your views on this subject, thank you!

Monday, July 27, 2009

R.I.P. Grandpa Ed



This man is one of the most uhh-mazing people I have met. I will never forget him. He had a temper problem like you wouldn't believe but I loved my grandpa so much more than anyone would know.

I moved in with my grandfather when I found out he had cancer. It killed me but I wanted to be there when he needed me the most. I had to watch him decrease in health over the year and a half that the cancer overtook his body. The good times definitely over powered the negative times. I truly do miss him something fierce. While I stayed there, our relationship grew alot closer than I ever imagined. Which made it 500% harder when he passed away. I do have to say when he was alive and in good health we werent really that close but it was incredible at how we bonded in the time I stayed there.

I miss helping him to the bathroom and scratching his back for an HOUR when it itched (LOL) and eating our Snickers bars together. I would do anything to have that time back with him. I keep thinking its not fair that he had to go but its part of life. Life and Death, i suppose.

As the days go on I should be healing but every time I think of him or a funny thing he did, I bust out into tears. It's just not fair, not him. If he were still alive alot of things that are happening wouldn't be happening.

My grandfather passed away February 28, 2009. I got kicked out like March 2, 2009. We had his funeral March 7, 2009. Oh yeah, he owned a trucking business called Hayhurst Trucking, which is now 100% owned by his wife. But, he has like 25 employees and Lenny our oldest truck driver committed suicide on April 7. Its been extremely difficult for me to deal with it but I have been hanging on. Trying to be happy for the memories that I had with my grandfather and Lenny. It's still unrealistic that they are gone for goood.

My family since than has broke, they have turned their back on me in so many ways. I don't think they understand how close me and my grandfather had gotten and now its over forever until we meet again. I miss him so much, I just want him back. So I can be happy again. Smile :)

Well, I love you grandpa and there is not a day that goes by that I don't miss you. Apparently God needed you more than we did :) you will always live on forever.
I just hope that my heart can heal so I can move on and for oonce finally be happy again because I know thats waht you would like,
I love you <3

Smile, though your heart is aching :)

Thursday, July 23, 2009


So, how to start this blog...

I HAVE THE BEST FRIEND IN THE WORLD :)

Anyways, well sometimes. hha but yeah. I have never met anybody like him and I am serious. It's just unrealistic to me at how much I trust and love him. It may sound weird to him because we never say it but I do love him. And he needs to accept it. He is the only one that I can fully trust with everything I have.

We may fight and bicker and get pissed at each other but its life and its gunna happen. Just as long as we settle it and laugh about it later. hha :)



If you guys don't know him, I feel bad for you. His personality and sense of humor is one of a kind. I just can't explain it. It's something you have to see your self. I have known him for 8 long years. from Jr high til' now. It has been great! I hope to know him for so much longer. He is just such a great guy.


It is amazing how much we are alike. and I feel so comfortable around him. We have the dumbest conversations for hours at a time. laugh about the stupidest stuff. Get mad at the the most pointless things ever. but that's what makes our friendship so awesomee. I have always been somewhat insecure but when I'm around him it doesn't affect me. its just like he doesn't care that I am who I am.

No one understands our friendship-> but it is so simple.. he isn't rude,or jerkk and doesn't talk to me mean..thats just how we are. and everybody thinks he is no good for me..but if they would just sit back and watch.. He makes me laugh, and knows how to cheer me up when no one else can. sure we act immature and retarded at times but i wouldn't have it any other way, really.


Every time we hang it I have so much funn. Regardless if we are just chillen and watching TV or out doing something. I have so much funn and laugh as if I don't have a worry in the world. We better move out together whore, do you know how much funn we would have ??


So, to all the guys that have got 'tired' of him or lost interest, just let me say your loss. he is a really good guy and deserves nothing but the best. And onee day he will find the right person and get what he deserves. but, the guys that have talked to him and left him high aand dry-> sucks for you, because you lost out. just know you wont find another like him. NEVER. To him...It will happen when it is suppose to happen, do not rush it :)


He isn't my boyfriend, but I love his hugs, his smile, his advice, his kindness, andd the times we laugh together-> I guess I feel in love with our friendship <3

Monday, July 20, 2009

Lifee is great.

I wasn't to sure what to blog about tonight, but than I realized that my other blogs have been kind of sad and whatever. I don't want to portray myself as someone who is miserable and hates life. So I decided to write my blog about this.

I have a lot of obstacles that I have been trying to overcome and it is draining me from the outside in. But, that doesn't mean that I do not enjoy life. I try to live it to the fullest and get the most out of it that I can.

I have always TRIED to be grateful for the things that I have. I look at it as , I really shouldnt be complaining because there are people that are struggling and trying to make a living out of they have. I have a house to come home to everyday, a meal to eat and clothes and shower to get clean in. There are people out there that are lucky if they get one meal a day. So I do try to be grateful for the little things that I do have. I just wish that I could give a little to everybody who is in need.

Everything now days is so messed up, all materialistic and made up. 13 year old kids asking for a laptop for Christmas or wanting the latest cell phone. Love has lost its meaning in so many ways. I just wish people would look at the things they do have and be grateful and happy but yet they look at what they WANT and are unhappy if things don't go their way. People need to take a step back and SMILE because they have a family and people around them that love them for them. So many kids out there that don't have a father or a mother, but that boy went and shot his father because he wouldn't let him get on Myspace? Do you know how many people hunger for a father or a mother, but yet people are to complaining because they didn't get the cell phone they wanted. Everything is so backwards. Screw a car give me a relationship with my father please.
And I'm not saying I'm innocent in any way at all, but I just want people to realize that what they have is enough and to be happy for the things they do have.

My motto has always been Live, Laugh && Love. I have had a hard time believing in the Love part but piece by piece its coming back together. I have a best friend who has been by my side through just about everything. The good and the bad. I have never met anybody like him before. I really do not care what people say and if they hate me for it but he is and always will be my best friend. your amazing and deserve only the best in life. Thank you for everything :) I also have to mention my cousins. When I was at my lowest they saw the best in me. I will never be able to repay them for they have done for me. I love you Charlesetta more than you will ever know :):)

Okay, well. I just want people to enjoy life. Let you know that there may be negative times in your life but the positive will overcome. Believe in yourself and never give up. Be grateful for what you have. Let your family know how much you love them because another day is not always guaranteed. I love my life and enjoy everybody that is in and will be in my life :):):)


Life ain't always beautiful, but it's a beautiful ride :D

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Life is Overwhemling..






Have you ever felt like giving up?

Well, just about now I do. I am just so done with everything. I am only 19 and already feel that way.

Just to give you the idea of what is going on; my grandfather passed away In february from Esophagus cancer. :( Since than my life has been complete hell. Anyways, About the last year and half of his life I moved in to help out since his health was decreasing very fastly. Well, my family pretty much turned there back on me since than.

Now, I'm trying to enroll for college and find a job in this recession. When I could use my "family" the most they are not there? What is the damn definition of family? I just don't understand. They have lied to me several hundred times and stabbed me in the back so many times and now they turn me around and want my help. It's just like what more can I do or even handle. I have finally started to stand up for myself and not let them walk all over me. But, its so hard because I just want them to to "love" me. Right now they hate the hell out of me.

They don't think I have any feelings, I suppose? I don't even know what to say? My mother and I got into an arguement this evening and I am just like really? I am just so tired of arguing and drama,, Some family. Ha!

Lately, I havent really cared about anything really, Not college or family (good family) ,, nothing really. I think I am severly depressed but I don't want to go to the doctor. They just try to shove medicine down your throat anyways. but yeah, I have never been like this. I just want to be happy for once. My effing mother thinks I'm doing drugs and I'm just like ugh..

But I do have to say, One thing that usually can ALWAYS cheer me is my bess' frann' Alexis Segura. It is unbelievable how just a 20 minute conversation with him can make my mood change :) I don't know how he does it but he is one of the most amzing people I have ever met. Period, Screw what other people think :D

But, I just had to clear my mind, and I'm not going to let family drama get in the ways of my dreams and life.It just makes me want to work harder to prove to them that I don't need their sorry asses. I am a fighter and I can make it. Best believe that :):):):)

With God all things are possible =]







Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Ohh Mayaan,,

So Lets just start out with, I met this guy named Frank and he was totally chill. I met him on Myspace a couple months ago. He was like really sweet, nice and such a gentleman. Its hard to come across any man like that now days. But anyways, we have been talking for a while now and I don't know, I guess you can say we have started to become more comfortable with each other.



Well, I got on Myspace today and I had a friend request from a woman. She was asking me if like I talk to him and stuff. Of course I was like yeah, for quite a while now. She told me that he has been dating her friend for like I don't know a month or something. I was just like are you serious? So I kinda was looking around and it seems to that he is "dating" her. But, we kinda of had a thing? I guess you could call it. So I called him with my best friend on three way :) and he was totally trying to come up with some excuse. I was just like ughh, really?



The good thing is that it never really got serious, ya know. I just kinda liked him, hmm?
But, why? He didn't seem like that at all. But, that proves that you cant judge a book by its cover. Than again, to me it just proves more that all guys are the same. I try not to believe that but with every man that I meet, they just prove it more and more.



I am so tired of it.
Why? do men act like that? I guess that's why I remain single because I cant handle the bullshit. Its all retarded. Is there any guys out there that are not like the rest? please let me know. So eff you Frank and the horse you rode in on. I'm just gonna walk away from it because I am a better person. I'm out for now. Going to bedd.
Peacee :)

Friday, July 10, 2009

livin' lifee =/


Okayy, I know this is only my second post and I should be all happy and stuff but I am not :(

I have always believed in karma, What goes around..comes around. But lately, my feelings about that have changed.

A lot has been going on and it is destroying me from the
inside out. I'm really not good at displaying my feelings,
I usually only tell my best friend, which post on here. (califazboyas.blogspot.com) But every now and then I would like different opinions.

Well, first I would like to know if you guys believe in karma?
There has been a lot of negative in my life, a lot of people have broken their trust with me. They have stabbed me in the back. Hurt more than they could ever imagine.

I want so much to forgive them and move on but I'm holding back. Not wanting to forgive them. It is mostly family that has done that to me , but isn't family suppose to be there for you through thick and thin? I have 3 family members as of now that I do truly love. And 1 best friend that has been by my side through almost everything. But anyways, back to karma. is it true? will they get what they deserve? maybe I'm over reacting? Should I just forgive and move on?

It just feels like I'm going around in circles. Not getting anywhere. For every positive ,there is 2 negatives. that is just how it feels. When ever I do anything for anybody, they turn it around and like yell at me or treat me as if I'm a bad person. Maybe I'm not doing something right? But I just truly want to be happy for once and not fake a smile. Find someone who accepts me for me. Not anything more, not anything less.

My first onee :)


Hey! Everyone :) Well, this is my first post, I decided that I am going to start blogging. It is to help get my mind off things. I usually don't write my feelings down but I thought I would give this a shot, what can it hurt :)

Well, My name is Erica and I love to read blogs:)
I probably wont post a lot but I will occasionally.
I have a lot of drama in my life, ha.
Who doesn't?
But, I love my crazy life =]
and thats what I'll be blogging about most of the time.


Mkkay, well I'm not sure what else to say in this one, so im gunna end it.
but..I'll be back tomorrow for sure :D